Movie Review: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

First things first: suspending disbelief while watching this movie requires some metaphorical mental engineering that puts the George Washington Bridge to shame. The situations that aren't ridiculous are implausible, the ones that aren't implausible are improbable, and the ones that are none of the above are just plain silly or utterly logic-defying.

That aside, at its core this is one of the better romantic comedies Hollywood has managed to produce in quite some time. It's kind of like The Awful Truth with Hong Kong fight choreography and twenty-first century weaponry. If that sounds horrifying, don't see it. If it sounds like fun, you'll probably enjoy it.

I was not as blown away by the much-vaunted Pitt/Jolie chemistry as I'd expected to be, given that on any given day they're both more likely than not to be on my list of the five sexiest people on earth. In fact, despite my general appreciation of Le Pitt (as my former boss likes to say, "he's not my type... but he's everyone's type"), I don't think the fact that John Smith is hopelessly outmatched by his wife on almost every level (with the possible exception of his sense of humor) was entirely a character choice. Brad Pitt is the best American Hunkdom has to offer (and, again, I don't mean to damn him with faint praise here). Angelina Jolie is sexy on some kind of superhuman level. She's not as good an actress as he is an actor (Pitt is genuinely engaging, fun and sometimes hilariously funny in this role, in an effortless, low-key way), but one gets the feeling watching the movie that she's a demigoddess who somehow found herself in love with a bumbling but charming mortal and just can't bring herself to give him up yet. Jane Smith is smarter, deadlier, and more efficient than her husband, and in their big fight scene, rather than flinch at the sight of John beating up his wife, your instinctive reaction is that he's fighting for his life, while she's just looking to get the chance to take her shot.

To be fair, I think Jude Law might be the only actor who could go toe to toe with Jolie in the superhuman sexiness sweepstakes. He lacks Pitt's American specificity (Achilles... not so much) and shares Jolie's quality of seeming to have forgotten more kinky tricks than most people will ever learn, to the extent that even when he's not playing queer roles, the screen is suffused with an aura of homoeroticism. Johnny Depp might stand a chance as well, though, despite his tendency to play conflicted Byronic characters, he's always seemed more wounded or befuddled than dangerous (even, a bit, in his turn as a ruthless CIA assassin).

There's a litany of minor and major plot points to pick apart, but the truth is, I really enjoyed it, was surprised how much I enjoyed it, and that's all there is to it.

And "Making Love (Out of Nothing at All)" is now TOTALLY stuck in my head. I refuse to buy it on iTunes. Refuse, I say!