In which I slowly cease to be overwhelmed, do, in fact, have jet lag, and am back in the U. S. of A.

Well.

In case you ever feel the need to have the Alice in Wonderland sensation of falling down a rabbit hole and not knowing where or when you are, I recommend the following:


Day one (Thursday):

a) fly to US from Asia

b) take sleeping pills for flight

c) go to bridesmaids' spa retreat

d) go home, prepare for houseguests arriving later that evening

e) go to friend's house, give quick debriefing for HIS trip to China, impending immediately

f) go home to greet east coast houseguests. Insist on sleeping on couch, as sofabed is giant pain in the ass.

Day two (Friday):

a) wake up. Ponder briefly presence of dog in Hong Kong hotel room. Ponder presence of couch in Hong Kong hotel room. Ponder presence of self, on couch, in Hong Kong hotel room. Realize are not in Hong Kong hotel room. Realize are, in fact, on "home" continent. Processs. Again. Some more.

b) lie around liesurely with houseguests. Decide to run errands.

c) realize that wedding rehearsal is, in fact, at 4 PM. Begin to run errands at speed of light.

d) talk to mother, AKA round two houseguest.

e) go to wedding rehearsal

f) to to rehearsal dinner

g) drink

h) make overly sentimental toast

i) drink more

j) install mother in bedroom, houseguests on borrowed inflatabed, self on couch

k) wonder, as drifting to sleep, where the hell the day went and if will make 8:30 AM nail appt.


Day three (Saturday):

a) miss nail apppointment. Make new nail appointment. Realize now booked solid and flailing to get to a)hair b)tailor c)nail d)makeup appointments on time, make burnt offering to gods of LA traffic (kidding).

b) in manicure chair, call cab to go to wedding venue for makeup appt. Make cab wait for ten minutes while gathering supplies. Leave house. Realize forgot dress. Bridesmaid's dress. Go back for dress.

c) wedding prep. More wedding prep. Some photos. WEDDING!!! Cocktails. Dancing. Food. Dancing. Cocktails. CAKE! Dancing. Cocktails. Dancing. Packing.

d) come home 2:30 AM. Find inflatabed nonfunctional. Grumble, remove mattress from sofabed. Sleep on couch cushions on floor. Consider self to have better deal than houseguests on mattress.

Day four (Sunday):

a) take first opportunity to have conversation with mother since her arrival. Put sofabed mattress back in couch. Resolve not to remove unwieldy, annoying item again, nor to purchase another sofabed.

b) post-wedding brunch

c) dinner with other friends, randomly in town for weeekend

d) drive to hotel where bridal couple has taken up residence in presidential suite.

e) win argument of who gets bed. Houseguests get bed, as vastly less annoying to sleep on couch than to deal with sofabed.

....and so on. Days five and six involved continued entertaining of lively and delightful houseguests, dismayed surveying of completely demolished house, cleaning up of demolished house, and more wedding cake. Also some Thai food and a great concert.

Today, day seven, involved a flight to New York City, and some jet lag. That's right, despite the whirl of activity and drunkenness following the Asia adventure, there was no actual jet lag then. Though, frankly, I don't REMEMBER much of Thursday evening. Em, if you conveyed any information I really need to remember... send an e-mail.

All of this is a very long way of saying that I DO intend to finish writing about my trip, but that I have had no time or mental clarity to do so. I haven't even picked up my pictures yet, and they were ready the day of the wedding.

So. Watch this space. There will be little further discussion of my non-travelling day-to-day life, but it was a fairly extraordinarily mind-boggling weekend. Not all trips are physical, maaaaaaaan.

Now, I go to bed and attempt to not let a crappy three hour time difference make more of a fool of my body clock than the freaking INTERNATIONAL DATELINE.